Is this really going to be the first Hijishin fic? English one maybe?
by Decipher Philosophy
Summary: Hijikata is hit by a five year bazooka, and wants to spend the remaining time he has with Shinpachi for some reason.


"OOOOOOOOOOI!" Hijikata yelled as he was car chasing the yorozuya gang with Sougo beside him. The three odd jobbers had gotten themselves mixed into a heist that the shinsengumi had been cracking down for months, and now because of them, it almost all went down the drain, so out of frustration for making it harder, they were going to throw their asses in jail for at least a month or more.

Unluckily for all of them, their vehicles and dog crashed into Gengai's shop. Dust and smoke poured into the room, making it harder for them to try to escape or find their targets.

"Don't let them get away!" Hijikata ordered as he drew his sword.

"Crap! Kagura?! Shinpachi! Let's get outta here!" Gintoki shouted as he blindly tried to find his way out of the mess.

"Gin-chan!" Kagura cried out. "Sadaharu and I are over here!"

"AAAAH!" Shinpachi screamed when he found himself caught by Hijikata's rage.

"Don't try to escape!" He motioned his hand to grab hold of the teen, but then Sougo appeared behind him with a bazooka and shot at him.

Hijikata tried to dodge, but then he tripped on something, so got hit.

"HIJIKATA-SAN!" Shinpachi cried out.

"Oops." Sougo found Gintoki and the china girl standing beside him with the dog. He put the handcuff on all of them. "You're all arrested for being accessories to the heist and for the murder of the vice chief."

"EH?! That was you!" Gintoki pointlessly pointed out to deaf ears.

"Yeah, aru! You killed your own partner, you super sadist!"

"RUFF!"

"Hijikata-san are you alright?" Shinpachi questioned as the smoke cleared.

"Yeah, are you alright? Did someone threw a smoke bomb in our room?" The man stood. As the smoke completely cleared, everyone's eyes widened, pupils disappearing, jaws dropped, and a shadow of distress cast over their forehead. "Wait...where are we? Shinpa-" Hijikata stopped mid-sentence when he looked at the teen. He looked at the others, blinked, and then lit a cigarette. After sucking in the sweet scent of mayonnaise, he blew his smoke. "It looks like I've been bought back in time."

"Hi-HIJIKATA-SAAAAAN?!" Shinpachi cried out again. Hijikata stood tall while wearing only a dark yukata meaning that he was most likely indoors at his home during a day off. His bangs are parted, and no longer a V, so he has to be from the future.

"I'm right next to you. You don't have to scream in my ear."

"Ah, sorry, it's just that...how...how did this happen?"

"If I remember correctly, Sougo carelessly took a bazooka in that old man Gengai's shop, and that sent the me from five years in the past to five years into the future for an hour."

"ISN'T THAT A RIP-OFF OF ANOTHER ANIME?! And shouldn't it only be five minutes?!"

"Ask that old man. Where is he..."

Everyone looked to where the inventor was, and saw that the man had been crushed under one of the shinsengumi police cars. Gintoki and the rest of the yorozuya made a run for it. Shinpachi made a last glance at the future Hijikata to see if he was really okay before making his own escape, too.

The Yorozuya was able to make it back home and rest on the floor or the couches. Shinpachi, being the worrywart he is, was panicking, "This is not good! What if the shinsengumi place the blame of Gengai-san's death on us!"

"He-hey, Shinpachi. There's nothing to worry about. We just have to disappear for a few months until they forget about the whole affair, and our names will be cleared. No biggie."

"That doesn't make me feel better in the least!"

"Shut up Pachi!" Kagura scolded him. "It's not our fault, aru! They're the ones who were chasin' us for no reason! It's their fault for getting carried away, aru!"

"Tr-true, but-" the doorbell rang. Everyone except Sadaharu hid below the table. "THEY'RE HERE! Already?!" Their hearts skipped a beat when the door opened and they heard footsteps making their way in. They saw sandals and a familiar yukata.

"You guys have nothing to worry about. That old man is still alive and will be making a full recovery in the hospital. You guys are cleared of any charges that you have been charged with today." Future Hijikata informed them. They exited the table with surprised expressions. Then the man added, "In return for the generosity, I'll need your glasses boy to accompany me today. We don't have much time, so come on." He took Shinpachi by the wrist, and pulled him out. Before closing the door, he looked over his shoulder to warn the others, "Don't bother following us. If you do, I'll put you two and the dog in the slammer." He closed the door, and pulls Shinpachi away from the place.

"Hi-Hijikata-san, what could you possibly need me for? You'll be back in your time in an about an hour right?" Shinpachi couldn't fathom of what the future Hijikata could need him for. The police officer never relied on him for anything unless they were in a dangerous situation. Everything seemed peaceful at the moment, so this was really weird.

Shinpachi tried to imagine what danger had happened, but chose against it when he began imagining that he would be bought to the future to fight some super, powerful albino with the connections and powers to parallel worlds, and he must be trained by some baby to take him down since his future, much stronger, self is dead.

He began sweating profusely at the thought, and wondered if he could escape. Hijikata had quite the strong grip on him, and it would be rude and impossible to knock him down with his sword. So he had to use his only option: talking. "U-uuuuh, Hijikata-san, where are we going?"

"Somewhere no one can see us."

Shinpachi felt his heart drop in horror. What did that mean?! Where no one can see them?! Did future Hijikata plan on killing him because he was the start of an awful future?! He forced himself to ask, "Wh-why?" He mentally cursed himself for squeaking.

"I have something I need to tell you."

"Tell me?" That sounded innocent. "If that's it, then we can just go to my place."

"No, your sister must be there during this time since she works at night. She'll probably attack me if she heard us."

That made the teen curious. "Is it really that private? If you're passing along a message that the future is in danger, then I think we should tell the others."

Hijikata stopped walking to face him. "It's nothing ridiculous or serious like that. It's personal."

"Personal? You mean like a secret that you want me to pass on to someone else?"

"No. This secret is only for you. If anyone was to hear it-" Hijikata drew his sword and swung it. Shinpachi screamed and ducked! But it turned out that the man was slicing at a vendor that was somehow hiding Gintoki and Kagura. "They won't live another day to tell anyone else." He took out his cellphone. "I already warned you two. Now, you will be charged with crimes that will have you commit seppuku!"

"Wait, Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi pleaded before he finished pressing the buttons. "Please forgive them! You did take me without leaving a proper explanation. They must've followed because they were worried about me."

They actually followed out of curiosity, but that was a better excuse. They followed along with it.

"Ye-yeah! Just because you're a policeman from the future doesn't give you the right to take our Pachi-boy away from us without an explanation! Do you want me to beat you up?! Huh?! Huh?!" Gintoki said with their faces inches apart which really pissed off the future man.

"Yeah, aru! For all we know, you could be planning to steal our Shinpachi away from us, but we won't allow it! Who else is going to clean the house, do the laundry and do the boring stuff during jobs, aru!"

"YOU ONLY WANT TO KEEP ME AS A MAID!"

Hijikata refrained himself from cutting their snobby faces. Instead he gruffly threatened, "Get out of my face before I beat the shit out of you. You're wasting my time here."

Shinpachi reiterated in a more kinder tone, "It's best that you guys don't bother us. Hijikata-san can be violent, but he's our friend. He was nice enough to bend the rules for us when he's a stickler for them, so don't take his generosity for granted. If you bother us again, I don't think I can stop him from arresting the two of you, so please behave."

Gintoki and Kagura looked like sensitive, stubborn children who were scolded by their parental guardians. Like usual, the silver samurai gave a shrug and walked away while giving half-hearted, yet subtle good advice to be careful, and hints that he would come if there was trouble. He then called for Kagura to come with him, so they could be alone. The China girl followed him with eyes looking over her shoulder. Shinpachi gave her a reassuring smile.

Hijikata clicked his tongue in annoyance, "Tch, who do they think I am. They're treating me like I'd beat you for no good reason. Was I that distrustful to you guys back then?"

"Not at all. We understand that you're just doing your job, Hijikata-san. It just so happens that your job has the habit of finding us in a compromising position." Shinpachi gave a mirthful, embarrassed smile. "Edo must be different compared to five years in the future, so if it's a private place where no one can hear us, it's best that we go indoors since no matter where we go, there's homeless people or amanto around. Where we both live at are filled with people who would eavesdrop into our conversation, so...uhm..."

"A hotel?"

Shinpachi blushed and flinched. He didn't understand of why he felt nervous of being in a hotel with another person. He guessed that it was because it would be the first time that he had been in a room alone with no one but Hijikata-san. That sounded scary. The man wouldn't do anything to him, but still. Just being stared at by those cold gun-blue eyes would make him shiver.

"Ho-Hotel room?! No! No! No! It would be weird to check into a hotel. Besides I don't have that much money, and I don't know of whether your money will remain here since it's also future traveling money!"

"Nn, you could be right. Why are you blushing?" The older man asked casually.

But Shinpachi screeched as if he was caught stealing the most valuable treasure in the world. "I-I'm not blushing! Hahahaha! I'm just hot! Phew!" He fanned himself with his hand. "It's hot today, isn't it! It certainly is! We should get some shade. There's the restaurant that you and Gin-san likes to go to! You must be hungry! You shouldn't go back to the future on an empty stomach! Hopefully they'll stay in there! HAHAHAHA!" He pushed the man into the restaurant where Hijikata ordered for his special, and Shinpachi ordered for just lemon tea.

"You're not hungry?"

"No. I already had lunch."

"Don't be shy." He called to the lady to get him the same as him, but to hold on the mayonnaise.

Shinpachi was surprised that Hijikata would give someone food without mayonnaise in the mix. Five years had passed, so that kind of common sense would eventually hit him. "Ah, tha-thank you! I don't have enough ca-"

"It's alright. It's on the tab anyway, so my past self can take care of it. You should eat while you can since your boss is too much of an idiot to properly pay you for your hard work."

He's not wrong about that. "Tha-thank you again. Sorry for pushing you in here. You don't have enough time, and-"

"Don't worry about it. I still have more than half an hour left to talk to you."

"Right...May I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"May I ask why me? Why do you want to talk to me in secret? Have we become closer friends in the future that you can trust me?"

The vice chief stared at him for a moment, pondering on whether he should confess the spoilers. He then closed his eyes as he put out his cigarette on its tray. Smoothly did he answer, "...You can say that. I can't reveal too much to you right now, or else it might change some things."

"Y-Yes! Sorry for asking."

Their meals came to them, and they ate in silence, which made Shinpachi begin to feel too anxious to speak. This was his only chance to talk to someone from the future who didn't mistake him for some other boy. "Uhm...Hijikata-san, is it okay if I ask vague questions? I'm sure that if we skip the details, there won't be any important spoilers said. Being quiet with the little time we have together is too much of a waste of such a rare opportunity. This is my first time having a meal with you alone. It's almost like a date! No-Not that this is a date! No! We're just hanging out like Gin-san and I would, and they're definitely not dates! Hahahaha! I'll stop speaking. Sorry."

Shinpachi was secretly bisexual. Nobody knew that he also had romantic and lustful feelings for men. If they did, his affinity for girls might be overlooked, and he'd turn into that gay character that people picked on for jokes. It seemed unlikely, but he didn't want to take any chances. Plus, he didn't have anyone he had a crush on, so it was a pointless confession to make.

There was a moment of hesitance again from the vice chief, but then he answered, "Ah, go ahead then, but you better not trick me into giving away spoilers or I'll have to smack your head til you forget who you are."

"Ye-yes! Okay then, is everyone okay? Gin-san and the others?"

"Yeah. We've been through a lot, but we're still very much alive and together, but don't let that get your hopes up. Just because they're alive, doesn't mean that they're the same as they used to be. We drag ourselves with fresh scars every year."

That made Shinpachi both relieved and scared at the same time. A natural feeling for an optimistic, yet also realistic future. "I see. Then do one of us get married?"

"Haaah? What kind of question is that?"

"Sorry! Sorry! I can't help getting curious. I've already been told that it's best that I don't know, so I won't become lazy in loving the person who'll I marry. You don't have to give me the details, but I'd like to know if I will marry anyone eventually."

"...You will. You're currently dating someone who's serious about you."

Shinpachi lit up at the answer. "Really?! That's great! I know I shouldn't ask for more information, but from your point of view, are we..." His cheeks was tinted with a soft pink as he glanced down bashfully, "in love?" His cheeks flushed red, and his began spluttering, "I know that it's a stupid question, and you don't have to answer! You're a very busy man, so you would obviously not know. Sorry for asking such..." He stopped when Hijikata showed him his palm as a gesture to pause.

He dutifully answered, "I don't know of whether you two are both in love or not. It's hard to tell how anyone truly feels about the other in that type of relationship. Love is complicated. It's best to not get yourself mixed in with that mess."

Shinpachi didn't let that answer deter him. It's just like Hijikata to give that kind of love advice. He retorted, "That's because you believe that love is a lie. I understand. This one time I got myself wrapped up in a girl's cuteness, and that only led to heartbreak since she was only interested in taking my wallet. People do use love to gain their own benefit, and break them without a second thought about our feelings, but even though it will hurt, and I will suffer for it with no one to blame it on but me, I still want to find that special someone, and make her smile every day."

Hijikata stared at him for a moment, and then remarked, "...How do you plan on accomplishing that with a playboy like you."

"EH?! Playboy?! I'm a playboy in the future?!"

"Heh. No. You're still just a four-eyed straight man, and women still laugh at your face when they look at you."

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT! AND WEREN'T YOU GOING TO NOT TELL ME IT IN DETAILS! YOU'VE BECOME SO RUDE, STUPID-HEAD!"

"But...when I said playboy, I meant that even if you do find that special someone, you'll easily run after another girl when they cry..." Hijikata pulled out another cigarette, lit it up, and then confessed, "But the person who you're dating doesn't mind that. In fact, that person...loves that part of you along with everything else you are. Even your perverted fantasies of that pop idol, your horrible singing voice, the fact that your first kiss went to a demon roach, your sister-complex, that you have a terrible job that needs you to be its maid and nanny, that your family are annoying, irresponsible, and puts you in trouble with the law again and again, you're an otaku addicted to exasperate everyone, your glasses is all that makes your memorable, and -"

"Tha-that's enough. I get it. Please stop." Shinpachi became horribly depressed at hearing all his flaws. His face was already on the table as he fought the tears back. He made himself forget what was previously said to ask his next question before future Hijikata disappeared. "What about you, Hijikata-san? Are you married?"

The future vice chief seemed reluctant to answer. Instead he asked, "...What makes you think I would be married?"

"Ah, because what woman wouldn't want to marry you? With your good looks, attitude, and stable work life, any woman would want to marry you if they are willing to look over the fact that you're constantly being targeted by Okita-san. You're habit of being extra paranoid of every situation that you overthink them. When you do try to be cool, you end up looking like a complete dork. And you're most likely having problems with ED due to your stressful job and addiction to mayonnaise and smoking." Shinpachi dodged the sword that nearly cut his head off.

"Oi, you smart-mouth brat. If you want to see your future," Hijikata looked down at him with the shadow realm as his background, "You better shut that pretty boy mouth of yours."

Shinpachi looked at him with a daring troll face. He gave a bright Luffy D. Monkey smile to piss off the older samurai more. He knew that the policeman wouldn't actually hurt him, and it was fun taking advantage of that. But he's not the type to push. "Yes. Yes. I can't think of any other questions I can ask, and I think we have less than half an hour left together. I think that we should find a private place quickly for you to tell me what you need to tell me, and I think that I have the perfect place!"

Hijikata raised a curious eyebrow. He grimaced when he found himself at the Yorozuya place.

Shinpachi reassured him, "It's okay. Around this time, Kagura takes Sadaharu on a walk, and Gin-san has gone gambling all our money away. They both won't be back until later this afternoon or tomorrow."

"That bastard. Has he at least paid you properly this month?"

"Yes. It's not much, but I can't complain. We only had a few jobs this month." Shinpachi looked around the place. "It also looks like Sarutobi-san isn't here either, so we're alone." The two stood in the living room facing each other. "So what is it that you wanted to tell me, Hijikata-san? I promise to keep it a secret."

Again, there was that hesitance, but the megane character didn't mind waiting. Eventually, the smoker said, "Shinpachi, I don't know if this may change the future, but in case my younger self screws up, I will let you know now that I plan on being happily married to someone, and just so you know, he isn't a woman."

Silence descended between them. Slowly, Shinpachi's eyes widened as he came to the realization, "You and Gin-san are getting married!"

"WHAT?! N-!"

"I knew that the two of you were close, but I didn't think that the two of you would finally decide to get along like this! It's weird, but I don't mind if the two of you are happy." Hijikata tried to say something, but Shinpachi loudly gasped as he came to another realization. "And the reason that you're telling me is because you want my help to make sure it happens! Don't worry!" He grabbed both his hands. "I'll definitely make sure it happens! And we'll all become a family! And we'll be like father and son!"

"NO! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT I WOULD WANT TO MARRY THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, DIABETIC, LAZY ASSHOLE! AND YOU MADE THIS ALL WEIRD! IT'S YOU WHO I WANT TO MARRY!" The hysterical man pointed at the teen.

Shinpachi was startled, "M-me?"

"YES YOU! Did you really not pick up on the hints?!"

"Hints...?"

"Yes! I suggested a hotel! I gave you the Hijikata special without mayonnaise on it because you're not into it as I am! I was hinting that we were the ones getting married! Were you this dense before?!"

"I thought that you were just being nice and weird like you always are! And you finally figured out that not everyone's into mayonnaise like you are!"

"What do you have against mayonnaise?!"

"Nothing! It's just that you eat it to the point that your brains are practically made of mayonnaise! And you feed it to people and stray animals as if its normal, but in truth, you're killing them! Yamazaki and everyone else had to go to the hospital to check their blood pressure and see a therapist after the hell you made them go through for a stupid factory ticket!" (Shinpachi knows this because he talks to Yamazaki every now and then when they see each other. Or I headcanon them to be.)

"That's none of your business! Do you want me to apologize?! Is that what you want?!"

"No! That's all in the past! What I want to know is how in the world did we end up engaged to each other!"

"I can't tell you that! And why is it so damn unbelievable to you?!"

"After telling me all my flaws in the restaurant, why would you?!"

"I could ask you the same questions!"

"Well, I would've fallen for you because I like you obviously, idiot! Even if you have mayonnaise for brains, I admire who you are as a samurai and a person! You're really reliable, and strong, and it doesn't hurt that you really are good looking compared to a plain guy like me who's only memorable trait is his glasses!'

"That goes the same for me! Even with all those stupid flaws of yours, you're the best I have and ever will have! Gawd, do you know what you do to me in a daily bases, you damn sexy nympho! Every morning you make breakfast and welcome me with a friggin' cute smile! Even when your worn out, you're so cute! Whenever I come home, you welcome me with that cute smile, and suddenly all my stress and grief just melts because when I look at you, I'm instantly reminded of what I'm fighting for, and even when you don't, you do. You can instantly tell like some kind of friggin' esper of when I need you, and get me through it with barely any effort which pisses me off, but I'm so grateful for everyday!" He got on one knee before Shinpachi, and continued, "We gone through so much shit together, so I can't imagine anymore of having my life without you. To not have you be there, or me not being there for you. I'd rather commit seppuku than to break your heart and never have you in my life again. I want to marry you so badly, but I feel like the most undeserving piece of trash. I can face death without hesitation, but I can't even ask the man I love to marry me because I'm a coward."

Hijikata held his head low in shame. Shinpachi was speechless. He didn't expect this sort of confession from the samurai who's filled with so much pride. But then, Hijikata-san must've been holding this all in until his break point now. He softly smiled at the disappointed man. "Hijikata-san..." he knelled down on both knees to be at eye level. Hijikata glanced up at him from behind his bangs. The cute glasses teen gave him a bright smile as he asked, "Are you sure you're not marrying Gin-san?"

The demon vice chief flinched, and roared, "NO I'M NOT!"

"Are you sure because in the manga, it's Gin-san who makes you feel better. Especially in the latest chapters."

"I could say the same for you! What's with that beam sword style arc about not considering each others as brothers, and playing the mother during that cellphone episode! You're with him in almost every single episode than I am, so I'm the one who should be making the assumptions here!"

"Ah, you shouldn't think to deeply about that. It's best to let all the Ginhiji's doujinshis do the talking."

"None of that is real evidence! Just some sick fangirls' fantasy! And I can say the same for you with all those Halco doujinshis! Are you rejecting me?! Is this rejection?! OIIII!"

"What rejection? I'm not the Shinpachi who you love in five years." The teen claimed. Hijikata was speechless by that fact. Though the teen continued while not looking at the future Hijikata, "It's just like you said. Just because we're alive in the future, doesn't mean we're the same as we used to be. We drag ourselves with fresh scars every year. If...If we're in love...you and me, then that must mean that we carry similar scars together. It may not be deep as the other, but it's there because when one of get hurt, it hurts so much for the other that wounds would form, and it won't heal unless the other person's wound is healed into a shallow scar like theirs. I'm not the Shinpachi who is littered with his and your scars, but I can say for sure that after hearing how worried and panicked you are about proposing to the me in the future," He looked at Hijikata with a joyful, tearful smile, "I'm so happy."

Hijikata stared at him with dumbstruck disbelief, and then moved on habit to wrap his arms around Shinpachi and kiss him lovingly. The teen was surprised by the kiss, but he let it happen since this Hijikata was his future self's lover. So he's technically his, too. His first kiss did go to that roach demon, but never had he felt something warm, soft and wet slip through his lips and play with his tongue. Shinpachi moaned in surprised at the surprisingly nice feeling. He tried to make his tongue be intimate, too, but he was clumsy. Future Hijikata didn't seem to mind as he smirked.

When he finally stopped the kiss, he satisfyingly looked down at the blushing, dazed Shinpachi who panted for air since he didn't know how to breathe during a kiss. "I-"

POOF! Smoke appeared making Shinpachi cough, and a blushing Hijikata appear.

"Oh, Hijikata-san, you returned!" The glasses teen cheered as if he hadn't just been pulled into the best kiss of his life.

The vice chief was confused for a moment of where he was until he realized that he was in the Yorozuya's office. They both stood up, and then the man said a bit shakily, "Ye-Yeah, I'm back. He-Hey. Did the future me do anything weird?"

Shinpachi gave him a clueless expression, then a Mona Lisa one. "Not at all." He turned away. "I need to check on the laundry. I think Kondo-san and Okita-san must be worried about you."

"Uh, right." Hijikata fidgeted. "You're not lying to me are you."

"I'm not lying, Hijikata-san. The you from five years in the future didn't do anything weird. He just put me in a good mood."

"Good mood?! What's that supposed to mean?!" The older man questioned, but he was ignored by a blissful Shinpachi. He kept trying to get the truth out of the teen until he was kicked out by Kagura.

He will not figure out what happened that day until five years later.

Five years later, Hijikata laid down on his bed with a satisfied smile on his lips. Shinpachi lied down on his side next to him with his arm holding his head up so he could smile down at his lover. They share a loving kiss as their rings gleamed by the sunlight shining through their bedroom window.

The End

A/N: I know that Hijikata's like totally OOC. I just can't get his speech patterns. I know it's a bit like Gin's own but with a more stricter tone, and not like a old man, but a strict demon boss. It's complicated. For Shinpachi, he just gotta be polite and rude at the right moments.


End file.
